Mr. Santorum dropped out of the Republican presidential race. He got tired of asking folks, “Please won’t you be my voter?” He left the campaign trail but still refuses to leave The Land of Make Believe.
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Newt Gingrich dropped out of the Republican presidential race. He finally decided to stop gambling campaign money on a game he was certain to lose and take it somewhere he might have better odds of winning, like the roulette table.
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Dominican beauty queen Carlina Duran is being forced to give up her crown because she’s married. If she’d been forced to give up the marriage instead, at least she’d get to keep the car, the house, the ring…
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Facebook alleges that Justin Bieber was stabbed by a crazed fan. Luckily for Biebs the news is a scam; although many were anxious to hear the remix: “Baby baby baby OW!”
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John Edwards faces a possible 30 years in jail for the use of presidential campaign funds to hide his long-time mistress. A reminder to all: if you’re going cheat on your wife, become a baby daddy, lie and misappropriate funds…please do so responsibly.
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The Indiana Colts picked up QB Andrew Luck in the NFL Draft. What a cop-out for Indiana’s publicity team, whether 2012 is a good season or a bad season they’ll just chalk it all up to Luck.
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April 14th marked the 100th anniversary of the day the Titanic went down. James Cameron celebrated by rereleasing his film Titanic in 3D. It’s exactly like being aboard the ill-fated ship though you won’t die from freezing or drowning. What could kill ya? The three hour run time, the $8 soda, or the same Celine Dion single you’ve been hearing in elevators for the last 15 years.
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April 8th was Easter Sunday! The last one thousand nine hundred and eighty one years of egg laying bunnies brought to you by the letter: “lower-case t” and the number: 3.
